Valentine’s day has gotten me in trouble in the past because my words were misconstrued by someone and it caused some issues at home. You see, I sometimes refer to Valentine’s day as “Bound to be Utterly Disappointed Day” not because I get disappointed but because I know so many men and women who end the day in tears or mad because the day didn’t live up to the expectations they had in their minds. Sometimes it’s because they don’t have someone in their life to celebrate with or worse they stick with someone or start a relationship with someone just to not be alone for that day. Most people end the day disappointed when they don’t really need to be because they thought their partner was a mind reader and didn’t communicate their expectations, which is why my husband and I have not really celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple for many years.
We talked about it, he told me how he felt about the day being too commercial and just another day were men and woman are forced to rush out and purchase gifts, buy/make elaborate dinners or do grand gestures to prove how great their love is when he feels it’s the everyday stuff that does that.
While we can both appreciate other people participating in the day and like hearing about what our friends plan or did, it was too much pressure for us. Don’t get me wrong I am a dreamer, a hopeless romantic who is currently banned from watching the Notebook again because every time I do I get irrationally mad at my husband for not building me a house and writing me a letter everyday! So this arrangement works for us; I have no expectations and he doesn’t feel like he is going to disappoint me because his carpentry skills are lacking, he is not an architect and who writes letters anymore?
In the beginning I can admit it was tough but by the 2nd year of no longer celebrating I had a revelation…I can be my own Valentine! Who knows what I want better than me? I can’t let myself down…OK except for that one year but that is a different story which actually led to the trouble I mentioned above, but I digress. Every year I buy myself a personal size chocolate cake from Metro, a book or an iTunes card or maybe pamper myself with a mani-pedi and lastly I buy a meal that my husband isn’t too fond of so I don’t get to enjoy it too often like Sushi or Greek.
I am my best Valentine, and it makes the day great! Whether you are single or in a relationship I encourage you to do the same and make yourself feel special because you are totally worth it. It also makes the day far more enjoyable without all that pressure in my opinion. 🙂