My baby boy starts school this week and I’m completely freaking out! I have mom friends who will tell me to stop being overly dramatic, or “it’s no big deal”; but I’m not about that. I don’t care what anyone says, to me starting school is a huge deal.
I have been dreading this moment and excited for it all at once since I first held my little man in my arms the day he was born. I’m excited because he is about to embark on the most life forming adventure of his life – the beginning of his educational career, one that I hope will lead him to NYU. (As you can see I have lofty goals for him) But, I just hope he makes friends, that he doesn’t get bullied or become the bully, that he loves books, that he doesn’t have a hard time picking up French, that he enjoys math (unlike his mother), that he is creative, artistic, that he enjoys sports and ultimately finds his passion that will lead him to a happy life.
I feel that it all starts with school.
School is where he will spend majority of his time for the next 14 to 18 years. It’s where he will be the most influenced in his life, outside of his family. Ultimately, it’s the place where he will take his first steps away from me and I start to lose my little boy. Every day from his first day forward, I will slowly be replaced with friends other interests, until I am just and ATM and free Uber ride.
I know it is selfish to want him to stay with me forever, and I know I still have a little more time before I become “uncool” and he no longer wants to be my adventure buddy. And I am going to cherish it while it lasts, but I know how much I am going to miss it once it is done.
So I will stand there with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes on Friday morning as I wave good-bye to my little boy as he runs towards his JK class on his first day of school. And I will know that my tears are because as he takes his tentative and slow steps towards becoming a man, he takes my heart with him wherever I cannot go.