To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate, why is this still a question?

injection_1917206bSometimes I want to leave the internet. No seriously. I see things and I am like “This is the world I am living in? This is the world I am raising my child in?” And it makes my head hurt. It makes me want to shut off my phone/tablet/computer pack my bags and find an island somewhere to raise my son.

I have always been opinionated, but I am also open-minded. I have been known to change my mind on things because I have been presented with new information or facts that support the other side of the argument.

Which is why I can’t wrap my head around the growing number of parents who are not vaccinating their children and saying “it’s a personal choice”.

Huh, what?

Choosing to let your child cry-it-out is a personal choice. It’s not going to affect you or your life if I choose to let my child cry and learn self-soothing techniques. Just like it’s a parent’s choice to feed their child all organic food is not going to affect you or me. It’s a choice. One they have every right to make. Not vaccinating your child is not a choice, that is irresponsible and it’s negligible and it doesn’t just affect your child it affects me and mine. It’s selfish. It says that your fears are more important than my child’s safety, his health, his life. It says that you would rather bring back and spread infectious and possibly fatal diseases than have a child with autism or to put “toxic substances” inside your child’s body. The list goes on. So I am going to try and break it down for you.

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Backseat Parenting: advice/comments that cross the line

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Have you ever been in a situation where someone began to parent your kid in front of you and their style of parenting was not in line with yours? Or what about people who are constantly telling you how to raise your child? Or telling you it’s time to transition your child from breast to bottle? How about informing you that it’s high time you began potty training or *gasp* cross the line and implement their “recommendations” after you have repeatedly and politely declined wanting to do “insert task/advise” at this time (or ever)? I think this has happened to many of us (if not all) and the bigger problem is: How do you handle it?

One of the many things I love about my daycare provider is that she asks what we are doing at home so we can all be on the same page – she works with us to maintain consistency in Henry’s life – which almost everyone can agree is what is best for any child. I know that while I am at work if Henry throws a toy at another person or breaks down the baby gate to implement his escape plan that starts with traversing the stairs (yes, that actually happened) he will get a time-out or the toy taken from him. That’s what we discussed and that’s how I would handle it at home. I can see that these efforts at both daycare and home are working because Henry is “getting it”. He knows that if he does something at home or daycare there is a warning (depending on the offense) and that warning is “If you do that again you will get a time-out. Do you want a time-out?” and when he’s home the answer is a very emphatic “No Mama. No time-out.”

But there have been times when I am with friends or family members who may have had children or not and they have taken it upon themselves to step in and start “parenting”. Henry will start to act up/throw a tantrum and I will begin to handle it in our parenting style, which is a cross between a lot of different methods. I am firm and let him know I am there but I don’t coddle him or give into him. I want him to understand that he can’t always have what he wants when he wants it and if he does want something that the way to get it (if it’s appropriate) is by using his words/actions positively not by throwing a fit. But I have friends/family members undermine me by giving him what he wants or baby talking/coddling him when I am trying to parent him. It’s frustrating, yes, but it’s not going to turn him into a serial killer. So instead of creating a bigger issue I let it go. Continue reading

STILL pregnant! He won’t get OUT!

photoI have come to the conclusion that I am going to be pregnant and miserable for the rest of my life. All signs pointed to my son coming into this world early, but then I remembered who his father was and realized that I am completely screwed and now going to be out numbered. This kid is going to have to be forced out. June 5th, exactly 10 days after my last due date they are going to induce me (which is VERY painful from what I have been told as Pitocin is not fun) and he will wait until after midnight on June 6th to enter this world. Because he is JUST LIKE HIS FATHER!

My husband does EVERYTHING in his own time, and if he is comfortable, FORGET about suggesting change. Most times it has to be forced on him or it has to hit him on the head that it is for the best before he will concede.

For example, how I believe he decided to marry me finally after 10 years is that he realized that I was fed up and had given up. Not with the relationship, but with the idea of ever being married.

We were at a wedding for a very good family friend and a lot of my family and friends of my parents were there who had known me all my life. As usual everyone was asking the dreaded question: “When are you two getting married?” and after 10 years of trying to come up with witty excuses to not feel like a complete idiot for giving away the milk for free and now being stuck in a limbo where he won’t shit but he also won’t get off the pot, I finally said exactly what I thought and felt was MY truth at the time…NEVER!

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